Introduction
How many people die from smoking? Nowadays smoking has become more dangerous for society. Smoker people smoke more than one cigarettes everyday . They choice this way to forget their problems and sadness . They think that it is the best way to forget their problems . This essay will discuss the two main reasons why people smoke such as to feel happiness and easy to buy it .However ,the two way to solve this problem are doing some exercise and protecting their self from smoker or bad friends
A few things to change:
ReplyDelete1) smoker people = smokers
2) more than one cigarettes - cigarettes shouldn't be plural here
3) choice is the wrong word form. 'choice' is a noun. what do you need?
4) there is no space between the last word in a sentence and a period
5) 'it' in your thesis statement refers to 'smoke', but doesn't work. it should say 'cigarettes' instead
6) your thesis statement is good, but doesn't have to be so detailed in L7. you can just say 'This essay will discuss the two main problems associated with smoking and give two solutions for it.'
The structure of your introduction is very good, just some language problems.